Letters From The Equator

Happy Truck, originally uploaded by jaremfan.

Who says trucks can’t have fun?

Hornbill Sunset, originally uploaded by jaremfan.

I took a photo of this hornbill at feeding time. The photos I took this time around came out a lot sharper because I’ve started using F-stops around 5.6 and 8. I used to open it up wide at 2.8 or 4. Plus, in bright daylight, a faster shutter speed around 500 works really well to grab all the colors.

I’m still a noob, but I’m getting the hang of this.

in flight entertainment, originally uploaded by abikuu.

Defenestrate means to throw something out of the window.

To look at a historical perspective, Wikipedia has the goods:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defenestration

I used to subscribe to National Geographic WORLD as a kid, and they would teach you how to pronounce words.

DEFENESTRATE (dee-FAN-nus-trait)

You can hear how an American pronounces it here.

I like how Encarta describes it:

throw somebody or something out of window: to throw something or somebody out of a window ( formal or humorous )

I think you’re crazy… Just like me !, originally uploaded by Nas .

They say that learning isn’t like a ramp, but like a step. A leap of faith would be succinct, to put it another way. Because, to be honest, faith isn’t grown, it is learned.

Ever since I started work, something in me has radically departed its core, in search of bold new worlds that may have never existed before. Part of me always wanted to create something worthy. And I thought I could find that in an office.

As much as I tried, I never quite felt as accomplished, which explains why I end up taking too many side projects. I’ve learned to work too much with too many limitations, mostly monetary. A born innovator, I began to remove assumptions one by one…

Assumption: Don’t piss off the boss

Assumption: Don’t piss off your colleagues

Assumption: Don’t do stupid things

Assumption: I need to save face

Assumption: I’m mostly right

Assumption: I can’t afford expensive things

Each time I challenged an assumption, I gained a new learning curve. I learnt how to piss off the boss, how to piss off colleagues, how to do stupid things and get away with it, how to lose face and still manage to survive, how to stay mostly wrong but get to talk about it, and that Alfa Romeo.

Now, why doesn’t anyone tell me that the answers I really want come in the form of random sets of occurrences that come one after the other as though you were suddenly taken up into heaven and got to meet the Son of God himself, and then sent back down to begin life again.

I have a weird admission that it does happen only to people who avail themselves so much that the system cracks at one point in time. I think in physics this is called entropy, but I really don’t know much about it. Something about energy or the lack of it.

But anyway, I fulfilled two big parts of my being by convincing to someone that life really is worth living the way our gut says it should. I think people ignore too much of their gut. I think everyone’s gut isn’t a magic dice. It’s got a lot of potential, and it tells all sorts of things from what clothes to wear to what person we should date.

Sometimes, it tells us to keep going in one direction and never stop even though it may hurt sometimes. THAT’S the part of gut that I think people are avoiding.

I think a lot of people know what it’s like to chase something and get it and be utterly satisfied with the entire experience. I believe ultimately, chasing God has to become that pursuit. But I also believe people chase God in different ways.

Mostly, we all chase God through the purpose in life we believe we have been created to achieve. And I feel that God was the one who put that gut in us that tells us what that purpose is. It gets activated the moment we awaken to consciousness as a toddler, and it doesn’t stop chasing us until we breathe our last breath.

Now, the problem is that, because we already have the impression of chasing something that’s attainable and deeply fulfilling, we continue chasing things that are somewhat off-course, purely for the sake of the chase, instead of obeying our gut. This includes things like chocolate, the new M1 supercar, your very survival, and the fairy godmother.

Because, frankly, at times our gut can only point to things that are faraway and scary and intimidating, and it has no concept of manners or common sense. It just points to something big, and everything is beyond us.

I’ve been learning that my gut has always been right. I’ve screwed up trying to follow it, but my gut has been right all along. In fact, it doesn’t matter if I’ve screwed up or not. It doesn’t matter if I win big while doing it. All it matters is that I obey my gut, and live to tell the story of what happened while obeying it.

And I believe that’s what God placed us here on earth for, sometimes - to tell the story of how we followed our gut, messed up, made some wins, and survived the whole journey to the very end.

Somehow, that’s extremely satisfying, knowing that we have obeyed our gut. I do not know why.

I went to Macau recently, and finally got around to posting the photos on Flickr. It’s been a long delay - so I’m now trying to make up for the investment I made in the PRO account. Hope you enjoy it. I’ve posted a few of my favorites here for you.

Here’s the link to the set: link

Sunshine, originally uploaded by Soffia Gisladóttir.

I launched a career-related blog. I’ve decided to come out of the dark that I care a lot about work enough not to do too much of it or too little. While that makes me go crazy, some of it makes sense.

Like, there are so many better ways to run a business, fax a receipt, and so on. So many ways to save time, to communicate, to enjoy it all. And I’ve attempted at least some of them. Some work, some don’t.

The blog is a way for me to share what I’ve learnt so far, from others, from stuff I’ve done. But it’s a good way to get good feedback from others.

I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been frustrated at a job. It affects all of us - at different levels and points in time. No job is perfect, but there are jobs that fit better. And we can be true to ourselves and adapt at the same time.

I’ll retain this blog as my personal space, so I can write about stuff that’s totally random. More serious and processed articles at leapwalking.

http://www.leapwalking.com

I must admit it isn’t quite wrong to reach new heights of retail utopia - but a ‘beach’ atop a shopping mall has got to be one of those things that makes me wonder if someone was just getting ahead of themselves.

The landscaping is done very nicely, I must say. It makes for walking around a lot more pleasant, which is a good thing - since you don’t want to drown in the sea of shops all day.

Maybe I’m just tired of the plethora of shopping experiences. Isn’t there anything else beneficial to humankind that can be enjoyed that doesn’t have to be directly driven, supported, or fueled by open markets and capitalism? What ever happened to state-managed open parks, zoos, museums and art galleries?

I mean, we could certainly get some really smart guys behind some of the marketing of these, and get the word out. We ought to be challenged to look beyond consumerism. Maybe we could start by meeting in the middle - have the retailers sponsor a no-spending day, for once. Everyone just goes out and run in fields or admire the landscape, watch some performing arts, I dunno…

It’s one of those things where I just want enjoy being around - and not have to spend money all the time. Every time I walk through shopping malls I feel guilty because I know the landscaping is all pruned to a fault because they respect me as a consumer - just that I don’t want to spend the money.

I’m also partly wary that we’ll all get into a cycle of expectation that we don’t all have to play the buyer/consumer all the time. Why should plain water (not bottled branded drinking water) have a price tag? I mean, haven’t we all arrived at the understanding that the price we’re paying is for the experience and not so much the commodity? Is a (free) glass of water too much to ask?

The reason why we pay for restaurant food isn’t because we need food - it’s because we want the experience that comes with the package.

70/365, originally uploaded by hijukal.

One of my biggest problems is my inability to get things done. It’s a psychological problem - I rely on motivation too much. If I could just take a “robot” pill, it would solve all my problems, at least for the meantime - because I have so many things to do that I don’t want to do. It’s making me go crazy.

This morning, I told myself that the world is not going to end, that there’s still oxygen left in the air, I don’t have to save the world - so let’s just get on with life.

It’s particularly hard because the only person I’m talking to is myself. It’s like I’m affirming to myself that I’m a lunatic. I gave up talking to other people because they (I) live on another planet. Even my wife has resorted to an isolation of continual manga consumption, leaving me to untangle the mess I made for myself. I’m not complaining - it could be worse.

I’m taking a breather this weekend, and escaping to Singapore. I’ll have some free time to myself before meeting my aunt-in-law. I volunteered to help her out with something there, so I decided to take the opportunity to experience a change.

For some people, change is scary. I’m exactly the opposite. Somehow I have a vague notion that change equals comfort. Change is attractive. Change is consistent. Change is necessary.

It doesn’t solve my GTD problems, though.

I went to see a skin specialist today. I got really tired of nursing my wounds, which didn’t seem to go away, and I had suspected that I was spreading infections all over my body all by myself.

The doctor gave me a look that make me feel like I was truly an accomplished eczematic, or whatever they call people with eczema. Most of his other patients tend to see him for minor problems, and I should be as concerned as them regarding my condition, but I could care less.

Firstly, because 90% of all doctors prescribe the staple diet of antihistamines, antibiotics and topical corticosteriods. They’ve been the mainstay for dermatological treatment for decades. But recently, a different kind of drug has received some attention for eczema treatment - they’re called immunomodulators.

Specifically, the ones particularly useful to me are immunosuppressants, and I’ve actually tried one out called Protopic. The tube was so small and it cost so much that I didn’t pursue continued treatment for very long.

Now Doc wants me to try something oral (tablets) - Cyclosporin. It’s been around for at least 30 years, and it’s been used most often for kidney transplants. It makes the immune system dumb so that it doesn’t overreact when the organs get moved around like a bank heist.

Immunosuppressants like Cyclosporin are a temporary solution to immune systems who think they’re so smart they go overboard and attack its own host.

When people have conversations with me about eczema, it usually starts like this:

“oh my uncle also has it”

“oh I have it on my elbow”

“have you gone to see a doctor?”

Anyway, my dad who’s a pharmacist say he’ll try to source Cyclosporin for me. Then I’ll have to eat one tablet every day for the rest of my life.

Oh, joy.

Doc was actually being really good and telling me to go look up Cyclosporin on the Internet. He didn’t prescribe it to me because he didn’t have it in stock, and the last few guys he prescribed it to had left the country and cases like this were so rare they usually only order on demand.

I’m so unique and special!

Mom has urged me to go to an allergy test, and I don’t think it’s necessary, because I can easily say I’m allergic to “virtually everything”.

This includes stuff like:

• vegetable shortening
• hard margarine
• nondairy creamers
• MOST salad dressings
• MOST baked goods
• MOST processed foods
• canola oil
• peanuts
• stuff that is high in trans fatty acids (tranny acids?)
• fried foods
• saturated fats (fatty meats, chicken skin, turkey skin, fatty processed meats, etc.)

I am known to be adversely allergic to coconut milk, big prawns, usually very bony fish, crabs, and eggplant.

The solution diet for me includes:

• most fresh veggies and fruits
• foods containing omega-9 and omega-3 (but not omega-6) fatty acids (some fish, olive oil, etc.)
• foods containing gamma-linoleic acids (evening primrose oil, etc.)

That’s like saying you need to live the life of a monk.

Anyway, Cyclosporin is not a happy drug:

Cyclosporin helps to manage the symptoms of severe eczema by preventing the immune system from sending special cells called lymphocytes into the affected areas of skin. Reduced immune system activity reduces inflammation. However, the side effects of this drug can include high blood pressure, kidney problems, increased susceptibility to all types of infections, and a possible increased risk of skin cancer. Because of the risk of significant side effects, and the need for close and regular monitoring, oral cyclosporin is only considered in severe cases of eczema that are difficult to control with other therapies.

I think I need to live on a farm.

I got my money back. I checked my Maybank account yesterday and I saw a house check being approved for a RM400 deposit into my account. The whole process took 9 months. I’m glad I got the money back but I wish it didn’t take so long. It could’ve been a lot more efficient.